click me?

December 2011 January 2012

music: TVXQ - Maximum
mood: dissapointed

Hi, I just came back from my school. Today is report day. And my report book is...
...quite disappointing, honestly.

Knowledge, total: 1174
Knowledge, total: 83.85
Practice, total: 926
Practice, average: 84.18
All, total: 2100
All, average: 84
Rank: 2nd from 36

Although my report book seems above the standard, but if you looked through my previous report, these are awful scores. In my previous year, the average of my knowledge was 85.17 and the total was 84.67. My grades went down a lot, no?

In total of 15 subjects, 10 of them went down, and 7 of them went down A LOT. Even some subjects went down around 4 points.

My opinion
I do feel extremely disappointed and angry, of course. No, I am not angry to anyone but myself. It will be useless to point my finger at anyone and blame them, because after all, this is what I have achieved. My parents never push me to study, so I was at ease at times. But when I got too relaxed, I didn't know that my friends tried harder than me. I think this is the reason of why my grades start to drop.

I have my distractions too, of course. As I have posted about it yesterday, my disease and my medication are one of my biggest distraction. It happened in the beginning of my 11th year, so I barely focused on any subjects at that time. When I finally was getting better, I was already lost.

My second distraction is, of course, internet and my love (or may I say, addiction and obsession) for K-pop. I didn't know what has gotten in to me when I started to like Korean idols and dramas. The next thing I know, I already drawn in to the K-pop world. I started to download videos everyday, making my hard disk starts to explode. I watch them everyday, until the extent of forgetting time and sleep, and also my health only for looking at handsome creatures that might not even know that I am exist.

I am fully aware of my distractions, so I hope I can be more focused to my studies more. I decided to turn off my modem at 8 PM (of course it starts once I go back to school), and make my love for K-pop to turn in to something positive. And now that I have my medication, I think it has no longer become my biggest distraction.

I hope I can do better next semester, because I have so many things to achieve.

Even though I am disappointed, but I just need to fall in order to get myself up and start to run again, and achieve better things.

Thank you.

Labels: School